On Friday, the Haifa Ulpan kids did a daytrip to Jerusalem.
PS: Tour guide...ick...My quote of the day "I didn't know Jerusalem could be so boring"
So, this 18 year old girl is planning to stay in Jerusalem for the weekend with no clear plan of what she is eating or where she is staying. Given my big sister complex, I stay with her (even though I have no extra clothes and no deodarant, but of course I have toothpaste/toothbrush).
So I stay with her, and lead her to Shira Hadasha (synagogue in the German Colony). She's been told that she could find someone to give her Shabbat hospitality (food + place to stay). I'm not so sure about the place to stay, but am 90% sure we can find someone to host us for dinner.
Nope. She went to the rabbi before services and told him that we needed a place, but he didn't find anyone...I'm not sure that he even tried at all. Her and his wife were very apologetic when she started to look like she would cry. But no one invited us for dinner. Jerks.
Instead, we went to a non-kosher restaurant with music playing in the background, and bought our non-kosher Shabbat dinner. We did say motzi on my sandwich bread, and said a blessing over my grapefruit juice (I did order grape juice, but whatever). Not that either of us particularly care about such things, but this was an Orthodox (or so they claim) synagogue.
Afterwards, we went to a free religious hostel in the Old City for the night. They had 2 empty beds. This is when the "nothing bad happens to Sara in Jerusalem" scene kicks in.
They put us up for the night, they send us to a super-friendly orthodox American family for lunch, where we had a fantastic time, and then we to the Church of the Holy Sepluchre (or as my friend from Holland says: "the Church of the word that's hard to say").
At some point during the day, one of the people in the religious hostel started peppering my friend with the "how Jewish are you" questions....I didn't hear them, and nobody asked me. I guess if you know enough about Judaism, they don't question your "Jewishness". But if you don't really know anything, or have too many questions, you get barraged.
OK...so we have to leave before 3rd meal in order to fetch the bus back to Haifa. The lady at the hostel walks us out. In order to assail my friend (I remained unscathed, although she did give me the opportunity to throw myself under the bus at one point. I decided not to do so) about her Jewishness.When revealed that her dad, not her mom, was Jewish, the first thing our of the Orthodox lady's (who was a convert herself) mouth was "you know you're not Jewish then". She continued to accuse my friend of *lying* about beng Jewish, and telling her that she tainted the family's kiddush wine (we didn't....it was pasteurized juice). Oh, and said along the lines of "It's not fair that your mother did this to you. If you don't do an Orthdox conversion, your children and grandchildren will be really angry with you." At which point my friend promptly bursts into tears.
The lady said "I know it's embarrasing". I bit my tongue...
OK...so this is getting long...
Those among you who know about Shabbat know how completely not OK this conversation was . So I told my friend that I converted after the mean Orthodox lady left. Jerk.
My friend said something about "if the Orthodox Jews are going to treat me like this, why would I want to be Jewish?" Your thoughts?
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1 comment:
well, my first reaction to reading your post was, "wow, that really sucks!"
but that was to not being offered shabbat hospitality. the only time i have experienced something similar was when i was in birmingham for six months (between miami and atlanta) and went to the conservative shul there and walked out with the rabbi and practically walked him home and then ... nothing.
but god, to be that abused by another jew over your jewishness when you are clearly trying to express said jewishness, that's just fucked up. but that is unfortunately not uncommon enough among orthodox baal teshuvahs. their world is black and white and everyone not orthodox is part of the world that they have rejected. for the most part, their rabbis don't feel that way but also do very little to disabuse these new believers of their offensive attitudes towards others.
personally, i would have slapped that woman across the face until she woke up.
i hope you were able to console your friend adequately.
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