happy satan day

Today is Halloween (and my last chance to get another "October" blog in!).
Happy Satan Day. I hope you had fun dressed in your costumes while fornicating, or sacrificing babies, or whatever you dirty heathens do.
A few comments on Halloween:
-We went trick-or-treating 2 or 3 times a year, sometimes 4. In my borough (New Lebanon, represent), sometimes in Sandy Lake, we *always* went to Cochranton (where my grandparents lived) and would basically go anywhere there was candy, and there was enough time to drive.
- We would make sure the porch light was off and make sure the house was quiet on trick-or-treat day, cause ain't no way that (1) we had candy and (2) we were sharing with those irritating kids from down the street.
- I was always irritated when that 1 guy would try to trick us and act like he wasn't gonna give us candy. Who do you think you are? Even the Easter Bunny doesn't play. Jesus would give me candy. Actually, Jesus would probably be a "healthy snack" mark. We'd have to TP Jesus's pad. That's a cool thought.
- I never TP'd or egged or flaming pooed someone's house. I did the knocking thing once or twice, I think...or maybe was an associated...I don't remember. In New Leb we called it "*violent racial slur* knocking". Only know do I was to bitch-slap us as kids. Aaaah, good old fashioned WASPy bigotry.
- Someone told me that the kid was supposed to do the trick in order to get a treat. This sounds wrong. First of all, my role as trick-or-treater was to acquire candy. The end. I say the thing, you give me candy. Fin. I reject this idea...
- One time my sister and I went trick-or-treating in our late teens. In our sheets - or togas. The Avon Lady house was like "aren't you a little old for trick-or-treating?" NO. This doesn't happen. You should have commented on my shoddy costume. In fact, you should have seen my 15 year old sheet costume and given me more candy.
- There were a couple of people who gave good stuff every year. Betty in the house with the dogs. Consistently good. Sometimes even rolls of pennies. A pittance you say? Next door, nay, attached to my house (it's a duplex) was a store with penny candy. You see 20 pennies? I see 20 gummy bears, or Swedish fish or whatever.
- I want to go trick-or-treating next year, but I refuse to be a "sexy" whatever. I can push up my boobs and wear a short skirt any day of the year and get candy. Be original people. Or just where a hat or carry a pumpkin and be like "hat person" or "pumpkin girl". People appreciate originality.

the end